i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
