Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry eMzg hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(424): View more from California

I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

Fav 1 1164 1420
share tweet
(209): View more from California

just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment

Fav 6 2925 1086
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.

Fav 33 8507 1788
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.

Fav 20 4332 1505
share tweet
(901): View more from Tennessee

I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"

Fav 17 1440 4464
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.

Fav 3 978 1809
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..

Fav 5 1512 851
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(055): View more from

Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore

Fav 5 728 457
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.

Fav 0 10 33
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT