saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
