Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
well I can't set my house on fire every night
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
