So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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