I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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