i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
