He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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