I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
