What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
