It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
