i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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