so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
