i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
