we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
