Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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