Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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