No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
