i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
