3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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