Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
