the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize