OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize