Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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