It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
