he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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