If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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