What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
