Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
