Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
