i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
