i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
