i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Watching her eat just hurts me
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
