Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
