were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize