i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
oh god was she eating orange peels again
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
