sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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