playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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