yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
