Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Bring me that man meat
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
