ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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