Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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