We're facebook friends in real life
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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