I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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