last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
