if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I need a beard to bite.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
