Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize