I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
