His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
