Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
