I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
