But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
