yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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