You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
