If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
