You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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