I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
