Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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