I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
