I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This is not my ceiling
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
