I cockslap morals
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
