Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
