in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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